Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I am a lover without a lover.
I am lovely and lonely. 
I belong deeply to myself.
warsan shire


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I've been attempting for a while now. To let go of those things I've realized I have to let go of people. Those very people that encourage what I despise in myself. It's a struggle. Sometimes, I need to meditate.
I run now.
It keeps me sane.
I am healthier.
Finally.
Sort of.
My breathing is still irregular, and my heart still palpitates abnormally.

I need to delete my facebook. it makes me feel lonelier, tinier, insignificant. Yet I don't know why I still keep it.
 I want to belong deeply to myself. It's making rough mistakes. But I've learned that is better to be alone than with bad company. It's hard going back to that place. I remember I made some of the best decisions when I followed my own path. Oh, but the loneliness that stuck to me like honey. Sweet. Yet, it would sting sometimes. Hm. I need to go back to that place. I think maybe this time I am more prepared. 

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