Late Night Again.

My demons creep up at night, and it's a shame really where I am. Sometimes, I crave this feeling to be in the company of someone, but at the same time I find repulsive this childish need to feel someone's warmth next to mine.

I want to run till I puke dry. 

But I am too afraid. 

Sometimes, crying is not a bad thing if it helps you move forward. I don't know when was the last time I cried. I go mid-cry and completely stop. It's a bad thing to forget how to cry - it signals that many things are wrong. 

I always prided myself in being this kind of strong, independent young woman, but it comes to no use when you become cold, unmoved, stoic. You bash others, unknowingly. 

People think they know you, but they never do, especially when you don't know yourself too well. 

I ran hoping to see the light, now I run to catch the light. 

I am waking up at five am. II hope to start the day with a good long run and that I cry from exhaustion, maybe then some sort of feeling and motivation will come back.