“I am a lover without a lover.
I am lovely and lonely. 
I belong deeply to myself.”

—

warsan shire ------- I've been attempting for a while now. To let go of those things I've realized I have to let go of people. Those very people that encourage what I despise in myself. It's a struggle. Sometimes, I need to meditate. I run now. It keeps me sane. I am healthier. Finally. Sort of. My breathing is still irregular, and my heart still palpitates abnormally. I need to delete my facebook. it makes me feel lonelier, tinier, insignificant. Yet I don't know why I still keep it.  I want to belong deeply to myself. It's making rough mistakes. But I've learned that is better to be alone than with bad company. It's hard going back to that place. I remember I made some of the best decisions when I followed my own path. Oh, but the loneliness that stuck to me like honey. Sweet. Yet, it would sting sometimes. Hm. I need to go back to that place. I think maybe this time I am more prepared.